


and when i hurt a bit too deep, you watched me as i fell asleep

by violetdaphne



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Headaches & Migraines, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, No beta we die like Jack, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Sleepy Cuddles, mama matty webber, mild whump, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29667732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetdaphne/pseuds/violetdaphne
Summary: It’s in these moments she’s reminded why she stays out of the field. There’s too much hurt, too much panic and too many factors out of her control. In the war room, she has eyes everywhere, agents at her ready to follow through on her demands. There, she can know everything going on in a case. Right now, she doesn’t know anything except that Mac and Desi are in pain and she can’t do anything but worry.-Post 5x08
Relationships: Angus MacGyver & Matilda "Matty" Webber (MacGyver TV 2016), Angus MacGyver/Desiree "Desi" Nguyen, Desi Nguyen & Matty Webber
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	and when i hurt a bit too deep, you watched me as i fell asleep

**Author's Note:**

> hello! I was inspired by ep eight's whump potential and the fact that Matty was in the field with them. There certainly isn't enough fics, that I have seen at least, with Matty caring for her agents. I'm also just a macdesi simp so they're here too lmao. Any and all mistakes are mine, and I apologize for any in advance. Hope you enjoy! <3
> 
> The title of this fic is taken from Brandi Carlile's Carried me With You, which I did get from the movie Onward lol.

The hospital room is in near silence, save for the grainy notes of nurses’ voices coming from the speakers and light footsteps echoing in the hallway. It’s background noise that provides a sufficient distraction from the stress of the day’s events, present enough to keep her mind busy. It’s dark, lights dimmed and blinds drawn, small shadows forming along the floor from the monitors around the room. 

“How are they?” 

She looks up at the familiar voice, rough and comforting. Cain’s standing in the doorway, hands shoved in his pockets and looking out of place in the stillness of the room. He never was good at being quiet, and she’s grateful he’s trying for her, for her team. 

“Just barely managed to fall asleep.” She whispers, and he shuffles in, sitting beside her with a heavy, tired sigh. Mac and Desi don’t wake, thankfully, and stay unmoving in their respective hospital beds, curled and twisted in the thin blankets. It was a fitful fight for sleep that only ended when Matty finally convinced the stubborn pair to accept the painkillers. She had let them wait it out at first, understanding their aversion to the dizzy, disorientation that comes with it, especially when in such an unfamiliar setting, but seeing the two of them basically  _ writhing  _ because of the pain in their heads, she had to intervene. 

She’s still uneasy from the Slovenian police report of the scene; hearing the way in which Mac and Desi were found sprawled out in the parking garage, faint and not responding because they couldn’t  _ hear  _ sent a shiver of fear down her spine. They had gained some hearing back on the ambulance ride to the hospital, but that then gave way to pulsing headaches, similar to the ones Cain and his agents had suffered. However, they seemed only worsened by their earlier encounter with the sonic weapon back at Cain’s office. She and Riley had met them at the hospital entrance, and watched helplessly from the sidelines as they were rolled in on separate stretchers to be checked out, too lightheaded to walk in on their own, faces scrunched up in pure discomfort.

The doctors assured Matty that it was only temporary, and the effects of their exposure should fade gradually within the next couple of days. However, they wanted to keep them overnight to monitor them, ensure their health before they fly home. Admittedly, she dipped into the Phoenix accounts to get this private room so Mac and Desi could stay together. She gets it, this need to stick together, coming down from the mission’s adrenaline, feeling vulnerable and restless without your partner in your sight, and Russ might get all snippy at the amount of zeroes on the hospital bill, but it would be worth it, Matty thinks, as she watched Mac and Desi turn to face each other when they were first settled into the room, curled near the edges of the beds to just be close. 

It’s in these moments she’s reminded why she stays out of the field. There’s too much hurt, too much panic and too many factors out of her control. In the war room, she has eyes everywhere, agents at her ready to follow through on her demands. There, she can know everything going on in a case. Right now, she doesn’t know anything except that Mac and Desi are in pain and she can’t do anything but  _ worry _ . 

Mac shifts in his bed, letting out a soft, pained noise, and Matty holds her breath, hoping he doesn’t wake. It takes a second, but he relaxes back into the pillow, and she’s relieved, despite the crease between his brows remaining. 

“Where’s your other one, Riley?” Cain asks, and she can hear the hint of concern in his voice. 

“Since we’re staying here a little longer, I booked a hotel. She went to check in, drop off some things, update the rest of our team back home.” Matty glances at the time on her phone briefly. “She wanted to come back, but I convinced her to wait till morning. One of us should sleep in a real bed.” 

He simply nods, and they lapse back into comfortable silence. She’s glad he doesn’t try to make her talk anymore; even the thought of trying to hold a conversation like he didn’t almost  _ die  _ today, and that her team, her agents, weren’t suffering the same illness, made her unnerved. She had to remind herself they were all okay, that Cain is sitting next to her in these annoying plastic hospital chairs, fiddling with his phone, that Mac and Desi are  _ breathing _ , resting right before her, and Riley is safe and sound at the hotel. 

_ Her touchstones.  _

\--

It’s much later in the night when Desi wakes for the first time. The sun has long since set, the nurses making their rounds under fluorescent lightning, smiles tight and pursed. Cain had left and returned with vending machine snacks and stale hospital coffee  _ twice  _ because the man has a secret sweet tooth that he’d deny till the day he dies.

She notices Desi moving, groggily twisting her head, hair falling messily around her face. She blinks hard a few times before they finally stay open, and Matty can see a glaze over them, unsure and tense. The painkillers must still be working, she thinks, as Desi looks around the room through a squinted gaze before landing on Matty. 

“Hi.” Her voice is scratchy, small, and Matty offers her a comforting smile. 

“Hey,” She says at the same volume. “How are you feeling?” 

Desi grimaces, curling in on herself, blanket bunched around her. “Head hurts.”

“I know.” She says, reaching out to take her hand, and she can feel just how stiff her muscles are. She runs her thumb over Desi’s knuckles soothingly, watching her eyelids flutter. There’s not much else she can do, she can’t take away her pain or Mac’s, and it  _ kills  _ her that she can’t. 

Desi startles, suddenly, eyes shooting open and she struggles to sit up.

“ _ Hey _ , hey,” she says, trying to get her to lay back down. She hears Cain stand, uttering that he’s going to get the nurse, leaving her with a shaky Desi’s who’s breathing is getting a little too quick and a little too shallow. “Desi, take a breath, it’s alright.’’ 

She falls back against the bed, eyes watery and panicked, and Matty knows this is more of an effect of the painkillers and the throbbing ache in her head than anything else, but it’s still upsetting to watch. She’s never seen Desi like this, this unwound.

“ _ Mac _ ?” She chokes on his name, scared and cracking, and Matty releases a sigh of relief.  _ This is something she can fix.  _

“He’s right over there,” She points to the other bed where he lays silent, blond hair ruffled and creases visible on his cheek from the folds of the pillow. Desi turns, and once she sees Mac, settles. “He’s okay, you’re both okay.” 

Her breathing slows again, and Matty finds herself fixing the fallen blanket around her shoulders, brushing her dark hair out of her face. Desi says nothing, but there’s still a disconcerting tremble to her frame.

Cain walks in then, a nurse at his heels. She’s an older lady with greying hair and a smile that didn’t seem as false as some other ones. She sees Desi awake, and goes through the process of checking her vitals, asking her the usual questions  _ how would you rate your pain _ and _ is your hearing any better? _ Desi grumbles out short answers that make Cain snort in amusement, closing her eyes against the light the nurse had flipped on when she entered, but it’s enough to satisfy the nurse,  _ Eloise _ , Matty sees the name on her ID. She exits, Cain shuts off the light and it’s quiet again. She watches Desi stubbornly rub at her eyes with closed fists, yawning, knows she’s fighting off sleep, and has an inkling as to why. 

“You can go back to sleep, you know?” She says, and probably fails at hiding her knowing grin, but Desi’s attention is no longer on her or Cain, it’s returned to Mac, _ of course _ , and Matty  _ definitely  _ fails this time at hiding her grin. It’s rare to see them like this, their defenses down, quiet and soft in the wake of a taxing mission. Normally, she sees them after the plane has landed, meeting them in the war room after they’ve managed to collect themselves, put themselves back together before facing the world again. It’s not a shock to her, she’s seen enough shocking things in her life to know that, but it is  _ odd _ . 

Desi shakes her head, but then winces at the movement. “Not until Mac wakes up.” It’s a resolute statement, it really is, but Matty knows she’ll be asleep within minutes with the painkillers in her system. 

“Alright, whatever you say.” 

-

It’s barely an hour later, and Desi’s sleeping, but it’s fitful, full of turning and muttering inconsequential words that string together weird sentences about soccer and ballet that make Cain chuckle, and, yeah, her too, because it’s intriguing to see violent and skilled Agent Nguyen  _ sleep talk _ . 

“Dez?” 

She jumped, not realizing that Mac had woken up to Desi’s sleep talking until he spoke. There’s a look of pain on his face, a daze to his eyes that let her know he’s not quite there, and she frowns. Jack had mentioned once, in passing, that headaches always hit Mac bad, that he got all out of sorts when his head was not working the way he wanted it to, that  _ he doesn’t like waking up alone _ . She gets up quickly, moves around Desi’s bed to his, ignoring Cain’s questioning glance to stand by her agent.

“Mac? You with us?”

“Matty?” There’s a tremor to his voice that she doesn’t like the sound of. He shifts, and presses the heel of one hand to his eye roughly, as if trying to force the headache away in a desperate move. She takes the offending hand gently and holds it steady, just as she did with Desi, using her other hand to rake her fingers through his loose, blond fringe, and hopes it’s as comforting to him as it is to her. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital, in Slovenia, remember? You hurt your head, but you’ll be fine.” She says slowly, clearly, to make sure it sinks in. She drags her hand through his hair again, scratching soothingly, and can feel his muscles begin to relax under her touch. He blinks, nodding lightly, and looks over her shoulder, staring at Desi with renewed worry. 

“She’s okay?”

Matty smirks slightly, and squeezes his hand. “She’s fine, too. Woke up a little while ago, tried to stay awake for you, but fell asleep ‘bout an hour ago.”

“And hasn’t stopped talking.” Cain chimes in without heat. Mac’s cheeks redden a bit, and there’s relief in his bashful smile. 

“She does that,” He murmurs, and Matty can hear the soft affection in his tone, a whispered confession, one that almost reminds her of Ethan and her, but pushes the thought away. “Freaked me out the first time. Now I don’t think I can sleep without it.” 

It’s so sweet it makes her heart  _ ache _ , and she knows he’s only revealing this because of the painkillers, that a fully lucid Mac would have a much tighter lip about the personal details of his and Desi’s relationship, so she stays quiet about it. Apparently, not quiet enough.

“Dude, I don’t sleep talk.’’ Desi protests weakly, glaring playfully at Mac. 

“You most definitely  _ do _ .”

Matty fights the urge to laugh. They’re stuck up in a hospital with migraines that probably hurt more than most concussions after having almost died for the umpteenth time, and they’re arguing about  _ sleep talking _ , of all things. And when she thinks about it, she figures it’s fitting. 

“Webber, why don’t we head down to the cafeteria for a bit?” Cain says, and there’s something knowing in his voice, eyebrows raised, a smirk pulling at his face, glancing between her two agents. “Let them talk, hmm?” 

Well, now  _ both  _ Mac and Desi are blushing, avoiding their eyes. Matty lets out an amused sigh, and nods, following Cain out the door, telling them that they would be back soon. Mac throws her an appreciative look as they leave, and she almost doesn’t want to have them out of her sight again, but Cain guides her into the hallway, chattering about whether or not there would be brownies in the café, and she knows it’s a purposeful distraction, keeping her from worrying too much, and she falls into step beside him, letting his familiar voice calm her. 

-

They return, pushing open the door silently, and the first thing she sees is Mac’s empty bed. Her stomach drops momentarily, until she turns to Desi’s bed and -

_ Oh _ . She guessed she should have expected this. Mac has moved from his bed to Desi’s, the both of them pressed together to fit on the single mattress, and Desi’s more on top of him than the bed, her head lying between his neck and shoulder, her arms curled up on his chest. Mac’s got his arms wrapped around her waist, fingers twisted lightly into the fabric of the hospital issued sleep shirt, his chin resting on her temple. They’re asleep again, holding each other close, breathing softly, and Matty thinks this is the calmest she’s seen them all night. 

“Want me to get the nurse?” Cain asks, but she shakes her head, shushing him. Instead, moving to grab the abandoned blanket from Mac’s bed, and draping it over the pair. Desi shifts, burying her face further into his skin, and stills. And, she’s not one to use the word ‘cute’, but she has to admit, it’s kind of  _ cute _ , watching them relax with just the other’s presence. 

“You going soft on me, Webber?” Cain sits back down, a grin pulling at his mouth. 

Matty scoffs good-naturedly. “You wish, Cain.” 

(Alright, maybe, _ just maybe _ , she’s going a little soft.)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all so much for reading and let me know what you think! :)


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